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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25715758">Beard Burn</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DRHPaints/pseuds/DRHPaints'>DRHPaints</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bill Hader - Fandom, Bill Hader RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Beard Porn, Beards (Facial Hair), Beardy!Bill, Bill Hader - Freeform, Bill with a Beard just has me all kinds of fucked up, Caretaking, Cunnilingus, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, One Shot, Smut, Unintentional Sex Injuries, beard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 10:20:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,759</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25715758</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DRHPaints/pseuds/DRHPaints</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bill is sporting a new beard, and when he goes down on his girlfriend, it has unintentional consequences.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bill Hader/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Beard Burn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/damn_conan/gifts">damn_conan</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>       Stepping in the door, Bill toed off his shoes, padding across the kitchen and tossing his bag into an empty chair.<br/>
       “Hey hun,” Gwendolyn appeared around the corner, dust rag and can of Pledge in hand. Spraying the rag lightly, she reached high on the shelf to pull down a photograph of the two of them smiling at the beach last summer, swiping across the wooden surface before replacing it. “How was your day?” <br/>
       Bill walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder. “Oh, pretty good. Just outlining next season, mostly. How about you?” <br/>
       Gwendolyn continued dusting, despite Bill swaying her slightly back and forth. “Nothing too exciting. Just writing and cleaning. Oh, and I made some cookies. They’re in the Tupperware on the counter if you want some.”<br/>
       “Yum,” Bill kissed the back of her neck, brushing her with his bristly beard. <br/>
       She giggled. “Hey!” She turned around in his arms, scratching along his sharp jawline, “that tickles.” He’d only grown the beard recently. Usually a bit stubbly, Gwendolyn had to admit she liked the new look. Particularly the touch of gray outlining his chin.<br/>
       Raising his eyebrows, Bill’s large hands tugged her waist to him. “Oh…sorry about that,” he grinned, bringing their mouths together. The whiskers stirred around her lips, but Gwendolyn didn’t mind as Bill’s tongue snuck into her mouth, massaging hers, tilting his head and ensconcing a hand in her mass of wavy crimson hair.<br/>
       Sinking into him, Gwendolyn clung to his broad shoulders as Bill walked her backwards to the bedroom, humming into her mouth as a hand drifted down to knead her round ass. Bill broke away to discard his beige jacket, catching her mouth for a moment before reaching down to snatch the hem of her blouse and pull it overhead, tossing it to the floor. Undoing his gray pants, he pushed them to the floor and climbed in the bed after her in his t-shirt and boxers, blue eyes stormy as he lowered himself on top of her, smirking.<br/>
       Gwendolyn reached back to undo her bra, flinging it aside, and Bill bunched her skirt around her waist before bringing his hands up to caress her breasts. The weight of Bill’s body on top of her was exquisite, and as she widened her legs to accommodate him, Gwendolyn felt the column of Bill’s stiff cock dig into her, lifting her hips to meet him, aching for the friction between the fabric.<br/>
       Bill’s hands roamed; traveling over her arms, thighs, breasts, gently cupping her face. Taking his time massaging and fondling, tickling and teasing, Gwendolyn groped at him anxiously, swallowing his mouth and peeling off his t-shirt to feel more of his flesh against her, fingers trailing over the dark hair smattering his chest.<br/>
       Fingers tiptoed below her navel and underneath her panties, petting Gwendolyn’s lips ever-so-delicately before Bill separated her and and slid along the sides of her clit with his index and ring finger, smiling against her mouth at how wet and ready she was for him.<br/>
       Breathing into Bill’s mouth, Gwendolyn’s hand tightened on his firm arm as he began circling her clit, soaking her panties as she rocked forward into his fiddling fingers. Bill broke away to kiss her neck, beard scratching her as he dragged his teeth over the sensitive skin just below her jaw.<br/>
       “<em>You want me to taste you</em>?” Bill whispered, taking her earlobe between his teeth. <br/>
       Nodding, Gwendolyn nuzzled her her soft cheek against his brambly one eagerly. “<em>Yes, Bill. Fuck, please</em>.” <br/>
       Pushing himself up, Bill smiled at her and she drew a thumb over one of his prominent cheekbones before he began kissing his way down her body, lips following fingers as he made a gradual descent. Laying between her legs, Bill kissed and nibbled at the inside of her thighs, instructing her to lift her hips so he could pull her panties free before leaning forward to brush tender, whiskery kisses over her slit. Parting her with two fingers, Bill began circling her clit with his tongue, drawing the circles tighter until he was applying direct pressure.<br/>
       Gasping moans escaped Gwendolyn as Bill’s head worked between her legs. Lips clamping around her clit, Bill began to suck her in earnest and her thighs snapped shut against the sides of his head, hands digging into his scalp as she thrashed helplessly.<br/>
       Bill loved this. The sounds she made, whining his name while desperately humping his strong jaw. The way she would start to lose all control of her movements, seizing like a demon-possessed woman, heels jittering against his back as her fingers nearly ripped his hair from his head. Bill knew in those moments she was completely vulnerable to him and he found it incredibly erotic. <br/>
       Backing off a little as the first set of tremors continued to run through her body, Bill delicately rubbed her with the backs of his fingers, barely applying pressure. When Gwendolyn had caught her breath a bit, Bill dove back in, licking and sucking, but this time he curved two of his long fingers up inside of her until he reached the desired patch of tissue, rewarded when she emitted a sharp yelp. Grinning against her briefly, Bill resumed, starting to pulse his wrist forward in time with his mouth fused over her clit.<br/>
       Heels digging into the mattress, Gwendolyn frantically rocked her hips up and down, Bill’s beard chafing her thighs as her hands held his head against her.<br/>
       “<em>Fuck, Bill, fuck, FUCK</em>!” Screaming now, Bill had to use his free arm to hold her pelvis flat on the mattress, Gwendolyn’s body trying to escape the overwhelming sensation. But he made her take it, fucking her hard with his hand as he inhaled her swollen clit. Bill moaned into her, grinding his hard cock against the mattress as he worked, turned on by her boundless arousal.<br/>
       With a final silent scream, Gwendolyn’s eyes rolled back into her head, body quaking violently and fluttering around Bill’s fingers before falling back, limp. Wiping his face on his arm and kissing his way back up her heaving form, Bill brushed his bristly lips against her collarbone, smiling, and waited for reality to piece itself back together around her. Eyes blinking open, Gwendolyn turned to him, stroking his beard and joining their mouths. <br/>
       Separating, Bill dragged his nose lightly over her cheek. “<em>You want me to fuck you now</em>?” He whispered, brushing her sweaty scarlet hair out of her face.<br/>
       Sliding a hand around his little love handle, which Bill complained about but she found endearing, Gwendolyn directed his body on top of her. “<em>Yes, Bill. Fuck me. I need you inside of me</em>.”<br/>
       Grinning, Bill reached between them and positioned himself at her entrance, oceanic eyes looking into hers questioningly. Gwendolyn gave him a little nod and he pressed forth, his thick cock filling her, Gwendolyn’s mouth falling open as she stretched to accommodate him. Eyes closing, Bill let out a deep groan as he acclimated to the sensation of her body around his cock. Staring into her brilliant green eyes, Bill caressed her face with one hand, the other twirling between her legs as his hips began to swivel into her. Gwendolyn rose to meet his every stroke, pelvis rutting against him as Bill began to pound into her, the only sound in the room their labored breathing and clapping flesh.<br/>
       Looking up at him, hand in his dark brown hair, Gwendolyn’s facial expression began to approach something like anguish as she struggled to keep her eyes open.<br/>
       “<em>Bill, yes, fuck, don’t stop</em>!” Arms clinging, Gwendolyn held him against her as she came, body constricting and trembling around Bill’s sensitive cock.<br/>
       “<em>Oh fuck, Gwen, fuck</em>,” hammering forth three more times, Bill shot into her with a stuttering moan, face pressed against her neck, breath warm, moist, and itchy as his hips stilled on top of her.<br/>
       Wrapping her arms around him, Gwendolyn felt the rise and fall of Bill’s breathing as he snaked his arms underneath to hold her close, grazing her collarbone with kisses and nestling into her neck. Bill stayed inside of her until he grew soft, rolling apart only after their breath slowed and their sweat dried.<br/>
       Getting up to use the restroom, Gwendolyn put on a tank top and shorts, but as she came back to bed Bill noticed she was walking funny.<br/>
       “Hey,” he narrowed his eyes at her. “What’s going on?”<br/>
       She shook her head. “Oh, it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”<br/>
       “No, what is it?” He rubbed her elbow.<br/>
       “Oh it’s just…” Gwendolyn looked off to the side. “My thighs are a little…raw.”<br/>
       Bill blinked, then looking down he separated her knees. “Oh <em>shit</em>.” The insides of Gwendolyn’s thighs were inflamed, pink in places, red in others, scraped from the repeated friction of his beard. “Oh, honey, I’m sorry. I didn’t even think of that.”<br/>
       “Bill, really, don’t worry about it,” Gwendolyn reached over to card her fingers through his messy chestnut hair. “It’s not a big deal.”<br/>
       Frowning, Bill turned over and climbed out of bed. “Hang on…” Snatching up his boxers and stepping into them, he disappeared in the direction of the kitchen, returning a moment later with an ice pack wrapped in a dish towel.<br/>
       “Here,” Bill said, placing it gently against one thigh and pressing her legs closed. Holding her there for a few minutes, Bill drew patterns on the outside of her leg until he tapped her. “Okay, open up.” Acquiescing, he picked up the ice pack, returning it to the kitchen before disappearing once again to the bathroom, returning again and flopping down next to her with a jar of Vaseline. <br/>
       Parting her legs, he dipped into the container and tenderly began to rub into the abrasions on her thighs, a look of intense concentration on his face. Gwendolyn was amazed that those fingers, which could make her scream and shake with such efficacy, could also be so delicate.<br/>
       “Okay,” Bill snapped the container shut, wiping his fingers on his boxers and looking up at her. “Better?”<br/>
       Smiling, Gwendolyn squeezed his shoulder. “Yes, thank you, Bill.”<br/>
       Sitting up next to her, Bill shook his head, running a hand over his face. “I don’t know, maybe I should shave it…”<br/>
       “Oh no,” Gwendolyn turned him to face her, tracing the gray with a finger. “I think you should keep it. It’s sexy, Bill.”<br/>
       “Yeah?” Bill raised an eyebrow, grinning.<br/>
       “Yeah,” she nodded. “Definitely worth the trouble.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for taking the time to read! If you enjoyed it, please leave a comment or come say hi on Tumblr at fandomtransmandom  :-)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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